Tapping Into the Wisdom of Your Children: Parenting with Emotional Intelligence


In a world where parenting often lacks formal training, the journey of raising children can be both rewarding and challenging. Parenting with emotional intelligence becomes a crucial aspect that is often overlooked. In a recent conversation, the CEO of Pause Factory, Enahoro Okhae shared insights on parenting, emphasizing the importance of understanding the uniqueness of each child. In this blog post, we’ll delve into the key principles he highlighted, exploring how they contribute to raising emotionally intelligent children.

Principle 1:

There is Wisdom in Every Child Okhae stressed the idea that each child possesses inherent wisdom. This wisdom is not just about academic achievements or behavioural expectations but also about understanding and tapping into the individuality of each child. It’s an invitation for parents to see beyond societal norms and embrace the unique qualities that make each child special.

Recognizing the inherent wisdom in every child aligns with the idea of fostering individuality and promoting self-awareness. It encourages parents to view their children as unique individuals, each with their own strengths and weaknesses. This approach resonates with the notion that emotional intelligence begins with understanding oneself and others.

Practical Tips for Discovering Your Child’s Personality:

Understanding your child’s personality is a crucial step in parenting with emotional intelligence. Okhae provides practical tips to help parents discern their child’s personality:

  1. Observe and Accept: Pay close attention to your child’s behaviours, preferences, and tendencies. Avoid imposing preconceived notions and embrace your child for who they are.
  2. Avoid Comparison: Comparing your child to others, especially siblings can hinder their self-esteem. Instead, focus on recognizing and nurturing their unique qualities.
  3. Personality Types: Okhae suggests considering different personality types, such as choleric, sanguine, melancholic, and phlegmatic. Understanding these types can provide insights into your child’s natural inclinations.

Principle 2:

Recognizing Different Types of Intelligence Beyond personality, Okhae emphasizes the importance of recognizing different types of intelligence in children. He argues that traditional education often focuses on academic subjects, leaving a gap in teaching essential life skills. Understanding the various forms of intelligence allows parents to support their children in developing a well-rounded set of skills.

The recognition of different types of intelligence aligns with contemporary educational theories that emphasize a holistic approach to learning. It acknowledges that intelligence goes beyond academic achievements and includes emotional, social, and practical aspects. This approach contributes to a more comprehensive understanding of a child’s abilities and potential.

Practical Tips for Identifying Types of Intelligence:

To identify and nurture different types of intelligence in your child, consider the following tips:

  1. Observe Interests: Take note of your child’s interests and passions. These can provide insights into their areas of natural intelligence.
  2. Encourage Diverse Activities: Expose your child to a variety of activities, from arts and sports to problem-solving games. This helps identify areas where they excel.
  3. Emphasize Emotional Intelligence: Place importance on developing emotional intelligence. Teach your child to understand and manage their emotions, as well as empathize with others.

Enahoro Okhae emphasized the significance of recognizing the inherent wisdom within each child and how it can be harnessed to promote emotional intelligence.

Recap of First Principle:

The first principle highlighted the importance of acknowledging the wisdom present in every child. Enahoro Okhae challenged parents to reflect on this principle throughout the week, encouraging them to see their children in a new light and understand the uniqueness each child brings.

Understanding the Child’s Personality:

Building upon the first principle, Enahoro Okhae emphasized the need to understand a child’s personality. He introduced the four personality traits – Sanguine, Choleric, Melancholy, and Phlegmatic – and connected them to multiple intelligences as a way to comprehend a child’s inherent wisdom.

Importance of Understanding Personality and Intelligence:

The discussion underscored the significance of grasping a child’s personality and natural intelligence. Enahoro Okhae highlighted how this understanding allows parents to set realistic expectations, manage their words effectively, and create an emotionally safe environment for the child to thrive.

The Journey of Emotional Intelligence:

Enahoro Okhae eloquently conveyed that emotional intelligence is a lifestyle, not a mere concept. He emphasized that children learn social and emotional skills not by being told, but by observing and experiencing how adults around them navigate these aspects of life.

Unveiling the Eight Multiple Intelligences:

To deepen the understanding of a child’s inherent wisdom, Enahoro Okhae introduced the eight multiple intelligences: Linguistic, Logical-Mathematical, Musical, Bodily-Kinesthetic, Spatial, Interpersonal, Intrapersonal, and Naturalistic. These intelligences serve as key indicators to help parents tailor their approach to each child’s strengths and weaknesses.

Assignments and Practical Steps:

Enahoro Okhae concluded the session by assigning parents the task of researching their child’s learning style. This, he explained, would further enhance the parent’s ability to provide personalized encouragement and support.

Connecting the Dots:

The blog post highlighted how understanding a child’s personality and intelligence contributes to the development of emotional strength. It discussed the interconnectedness of recognizing a child’s uniqueness, setting realistic goals, and fostering independence.


Parenting with emotional intelligence involves recognizing and embracing the uniqueness of each child. By understanding their personalities and different types of intelligence, parents can create an environment that nurtures their children’s inherent wisdom. This approach not only contributes to their emotional intelligence but also fosters a sense of self-awareness and acceptance. As parents, the journey involves continuous learning and adapting to the ever-evolving needs of each child.

The content shared by Enahoro Okhae provides valuable insights into fostering emotional intelligence in children. The emphasis on recognizing individual differences and tailoring parenting strategies accordingly aligns with contemporary approaches to child development. Additionally, the incorporation of practical assignments adds a hands-on dimension to the learning process, making it an engaging and informative experience for parents.

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