Discover Wrong Pursuit of Fulfillment Stopping You From Truly Feeling Fulfilled
Life is fleeting; some leave this world far too soon, while others stay much longer. Yet, regardless of how long we live, one thing is certain: death is inevitable. Knowing this, it’s natural to question what we are truly doing here. Are we just passing the time, or is there a deeper purpose?
The Search for Fulfillment
In my journey, I have encountered countless individuals who feel unfulfilled or are actively searching for fulfilment. Some pursue specific goals with the hope that achieving them will finally bring a sense of satisfaction. Others seek fulfilment through various means, yet very few can confidently say they have achieved it.
Many people believe that fulfilment is something that will come later in life, once certain conditions are met—whether it be wealth, a dream family, or educational achievements. However, this way of thinking often leaves them perpetually chasing an elusive feeling. To understand what fulfilment truly is, it’s essential to first explore what it is not.
Misconceptions About Fulfillment
1. Fulfillment Is Not a Constant State of Happiness
Many people equate fulfilment with perpetual happiness, believing that once they are fulfilled, they will never experience unhappiness again. This is a misconception. Life is inherently filled with ups and downs, and unpleasant emotions such as sadness, frustration, and annoyance are natural. A fulfilled person isn’t someone who never faces challenges; rather, they navigate life’s difficulties while maintaining a sense of inner peace.
2. Fulfillment Is Not a One-Time Achievement
A common misconception is that fulfillment can be achieved by reaching a specific goal. Many believe that once they attain a certain milestone, they will be fulfilled for life. However, life doesn’t work that way. Achieving a goal might bring temporary satisfaction, but soon, new challenges or desires emerge, leading to a continuous cycle of seeking and achieving without ever reaching a lasting state of fulfillment.
Take the example of parents who believe they will find fulfillment in raising a child. Their concerns begin even before the child is born and continue as the child grows—worrying about walking, school performance, career choices, and even grandchildren. If they don’t learn to find peace within themselves, these concerns may never end.
3. Fulfillment Is Not About Material Wealth or Status
Some people believe that wealth or a high position in society will bring fulfillment. They think that once they have a house, a certain job title, or societal recognition, they will finally be satisfied. Yet, even those who achieve great wealth or status often find that fulfillment still eludes them.
4. Fulfillment Is Not About Living a Perfect Life
Perfectionists often fall into the trap of believing that a perfect life—one that aligns exactly with their expectations—will bring fulfillment. The truth is, perfection is unattainable, and striving for it can lead to perpetual dissatisfaction.
5. Fulfillment Is Not in the Validation of Others
Many people seek validation from others, hoping that external approval will bring them fulfilment. Children with overly demanding parents, for example, might work tirelessly just to hear words of pride from their parents. However, relying on external validation for fulfilment is a never-ending cycle that rarely brings the deep contentment they seek.
The True Nature of Fulfillment
Fulfillment is not tied to external achievements, material wealth, or the validation of others. It is a feeling, an emotion that arises from within. It is a state of deep contentment and satisfaction that comes from understanding the harmony between one’s inner self and the life they are living.
Fulfillment reflects a sense of harmony between what you do daily and the impact you make in the world. It’s not about the magnitude of your actions but rather the understanding and meaning you derive from them. When your sense of fulfillment is tied to having or achieving, you will never find lasting peace, because there will always be more to want or achieve.
Finding Fulfillment Daily
To live a fulfilled life, you must shift your focus from external accomplishments to internal harmony. It’s not about having everything you want but finding peace in your journey, regardless of what you have or have not yet achieved. Fulfillment is a continuous state that can be cultivated by aligning your thoughts and actions with your true purpose and values.
As someone who feels fulfilled daily, I can say it’s not because of what I own, my position, my marriage, or being a parent. True fulfillment comes from understanding who I am, appreciating the life I live, and finding contentment in the simple act of being.
Fulfillment is not something you find at the end of a long road; it’s a state of being you cultivate every day. So, start now, not by chasing more, but by appreciating who you are and the unique impact you can make in the world.
Authored by Enahoro Okhae; CEO Pause Factory
