How to Handle Sexual Harassment in the Workplace: A Practical Guide for Employees and HR

People Management – Sexual harassment in the workplace is one of the most damaging and most underreported issues in any organisation. It cuts across industries, seniority levels and gender lines. It destroys productivity, erodes trust and silently poisons the culture of even the most well-run teams.

And yet, it is rarely discussed openly.

This article is drawn from the maiden episode of Workplace Wisdom, a show by Pause Factory dedicated to helping employees and employers navigate the real, often uncomfortable issues that shape how people work together. In this episode, HR strategist Nelson Dominic and Learning & Development expert Stella Uche Nnadih joined Pause Factory CEO Enahoro Okhae for a candid, practical conversation about sexual harassment; what it is, how it happens, who it affects, and exactly what you should do about it.

“Sexual harassment is unwanted sexual communication; verbal, non-verbal, or physical, in any form. As long as it is unwanted, it is harassment.” — Nelson Dominic, HR Strategist

What Is Sexual Harassment in the Workplace? A Clear Definition

Before organisations can address sexual harassment, they need to understand it clearly without euphemism and without minimising it.

Stella Uche Nnadih defines it this way: “Sexual harassment in the workplace is conduct by one person against another whether covert or overt that the other person finds offensive and that negatively affects their work. It carries sexual or sensual innuendo, and it should not come up in the workplace at all.”

Nelson Dominic adds: “It is unwanted sexual communication in any form verbal, non-verbal, or physical. It could be asking for sexual favours in exchange for reward or advancement. It could be comments, messages, or behaviour during a work call. As long as it is unwanted, it becomes sexual harassment.”

The key word in both definitions is unwanted. The intent of the person making the advance is irrelevant. What matters is the experience of the person receiving it.

The Non-Obvious Forms of Workplace Sexual Harassment

Many people associate sexual harassment only with extreme, unmistakable acts. But the vast majority of harassment in the workplace is far more subtle and that subtlety is precisely what makes it so damaging and so difficult to address.

Based on the experiences shared in this episode, here are forms of workplace harassment that are often overlooked:

Comments on appearance even as compliments

Telling a colleague they “smell nice” or commenting on how they look may seem harmless. But as Stella points out, if the recipient does not welcome it and says so even gently continuing to make such comments becomes harassment. “Once someone expresses discomfort, it is no longer your call to decide whether they are overreacting. Take the information and stop.”

Prolonged or inappropriate physical touch

Hugging a colleague for too long, rubbing someone’s head or back, or making physical contact that goes beyond a standard professional greeting these are not neutral acts. Nelson notes: “You can pat someone on the back and the pat goes beyond three to five seconds that is already harassment. The same way a man will not come to your desk and rub your back, a woman should not do it to a man either.”

Suggestive body language during work interactions

Bending over someone at their desk, sitting in a suggestive way during a meeting, leaning physically against a colleague these behaviours send messages that cross professional lines, even when no words are spoken.

Inappropriate dressing directed at a specific person

Dressing in a sexually suggestive manner particularly during professional engagements such as job interviews can constitute a form of workplace harassment directed at the interviewer or panel. As Nelson shared from experience: “I have interviewed people and someone came in wearing something with no business being worn in a professional setting. If you are not ready for it, do not put yourself in that situation.”

Persistent WhatsApp or digital messages with sexual undertones

The digital workplace has opened new channels for harassment. What starts as a professional message thread can easily slide into “what are you wearing today?” and that transition, Stella notes, is a blurry line that employees and managers must actively watch.

Men Are Also Victims: The Side of Sexual Harassment Nobody Talks About

One of the most important and least discussed dimensions of workplace sexual harassment is that men are also victims. Frequently. Society’s expectation that men should welcome or enjoy sexual advances from women means that male victims rarely speak up, rarely report, and often suffer in silence.

Nelson addressed this directly: “Our society believes that men should appreciate or enjoy a woman’s advances. This puts men in a very difficult place when it comes to speaking out or rejecting harassment.”

From the show, Nelson shared a striking real-world example of how this dynamic plays out: a male employee in a relationship with multiple female colleagues in the same organisation. When promotions did not materialise as the women had expected, some turned around and accused him of sexual harassment using WhatsApp conversation screenshots as evidence. The lesson is not that women lie, but that without clear boundaries, professional relationships in the workplace become fertile ground for ambiguity that can be weaponised by any party.

“Gender equality applies to sexual harassment too. Both men and women can be perpetrators. Both men and women can be victims. The behaviour not the gender is what matters.”

A poll conducted among men ahead of this episode revealed that same-sex harassment is also a real phenomenong one man reported being harassed by the company owner, a man, with nowhere to report because the aggressor was at the very top of the organisation. His only option, in the end, was to resign.

Common Misconceptions About Workplace Sexual Harassment

These are the misconceptions that allow harassment to persist even when it is happening in plain sight:

1. “She is overreacting it was just a compliment”

This is the most common dismissal used against women who report harassment. The logic is that because the harasser meant no harm, the person being harassed has no right to feel harmed. This is wrong. The discomfort of the recipient is the standard, not the intention of the perpetrator.

2. “Men cannot be harassed”

As already discussed, men are harassed regularly but cultural norms make it nearly impossible for them to say so without being ridiculed or disbelieved. This silence emboldens harassers and leaves male victims without recourse.

3. “If she didn’t want it, she wouldn’t have dressed that way”

While professional dressing standards matter, clothing is never justification for harassment. No one’s outfit grants another person permission to make unwanted sexual advances.

4. “They were in a relationship, so it couldn’t be harassment”

Consent in a past or present relationship does not extend to all future interactions, especially when the relationship ends. Nelson warned explicitly: “If you are going to date a colleague, count the cost first. Imagine if that person ends the relationship tomorrow can you handle seeing them every day in the same office? What you cannot finish, do not start.”

5. “HR will handle it fairly”

Unfortunately, not always. Stella shared a personal experience of being harassed by a branch manager it was only when a report quietly reached HR leadership in Lagos that an investigation was triggered. HR departments are only as effective as their integrity, experience, and courage to act. When HR is complicit, compromised, or simply afraid, victims are left without protection.

Important Read: How to Play and Win Office Politics: A Guide to Positive Workplace Politics

What to Do If You Are Being Sexually Harassed at Work: A Step-by-Step Guide

If you are experiencing sexual harassment in your workplace, here is a practical, structured approach drawn from the advice of Nelson and Stella:

Step 1: Make it clear verbally or in writing that the behaviour is unwanted

Do not assume your discomfort is obvious. Do not hope the person will figure it out. Say it directly. You can say it in person, or follow up via WhatsApp, internal messaging, or email: “You touched me in a way I was not comfortable with today. Please do not do that again.” This serves two purposes it communicates your boundary clearly, and it begins to create a paper trail.

“Your silence may be interpreted as consent. Make it clear as early as possible — that you do not welcome this behaviour.” — Nelson Dominic

Step 2: Know your organisation’s sexual harassment policy

Every forward-thinking organisation should have a written sexual harassment policy. Find it. Read it. Understand what behaviours are defined as harassment, what the reporting process is, and what the consequences are for perpetrators. This document is your framework use it.

Step 3: Build your evidence

This is critical. Without evidence, it is your word against theirs and in most workplace panels, the more senior or more connected party tends to be believed.

Here is how to build evidence:

• Screenshot or save all relevant WhatsApp messages, emails, and internal chat threads
• After any physical incident, immediately send the person a message via text or chat referencing what happened (e.g. “You touched me inappropriately today please do not do that again”). Their response even an apology becomes documented evidence
• Where legally and ethically permissible, consider recording conversations
• Note dates, times, locations, and any witnesses for each incident

Step 4: Find an ally

Before going to HR, have at least one trusted colleague male or female who is aware of what you are going through. HR will ask: “Do you have a witness?” Having someone who can corroborate your account, even partially, significantly strengthens your case. Do not broadcast what is happening to the entire organisation keep it contained to one or two trusted people until the formal process has run its course.

Step 5: Report formally to HR or management

Once you have your evidence and your ally, take the matter to HR. Give the organisation a fair chance to investigate and act according to their policy. Do not go public on social media or otherwise before this internal process has been properly exhausted. Going public prematurely can undermine your case and expose you to retaliation.

Step 6: If the organisation fails you escalate or exit

If HR investigates and takes no meaningful action or worse, if the organisation retaliates against you for reporting you have two options:

• Escalate to the appropriate government or regulatory body (such as the Ministry of Labour and Employment, or relevant professional bodies), armed with your documented evidence
• Plan your exit. Protect your mental health. A job can be replaced. Your peace of mind and dignity cannot.

“If you work in an organisation that has policies but still finds a way to let the aggressor victimise you — plan your exit. Take all your evidence and report to the appropriate government body.” — Nelson Dominic

Special Case: What If the Harasser Is a Customer?

This is a particularly sensitive situation one that faces many customer-facing staff, from bank tellers to sales executives to hospitality workers. The pressure to protect the client relationship often means staff suffer in silence.

The first step, Stella advises, is to try to address it directly with the customer — with evidence and with the support of a supervisor. Document every incident.

But the deeper fix is cultural. As Nelson put it: “How you treat your employees is how your customers will treat them. If an organisation signals that customers can get their way with staff because they are paying, customers will do exactly that.”

Organisations must be willing to protect their people even at the cost of a client relationship. Where a customer repeatedly harasses a staff member and management refuses to act, Stella advises: report it formally, put it on record, and if nothing changes, consider whether the organisation deserves your continued commitment.

The Role of HR in Preventing and Managing Sexual Harassment

Human Resources is the frontline of organisational safety when it comes to harassment. But HR departments can only fulfil this role if they are built correctly and backed properly. From this conversation, here is what HR must do:

1. Ensure HR personnel are above board in integrity and experience

Stella was direct: “Whoever is in HR, especially dealing with people relations, must be above board not someone who will make excuses for the aggressor because they have personal interests in that kind of behaviour.” HR officers who are personally invested in protecting perpetrators are a danger to the entire workforce.

2. Have clear, written policies and communicate them continuously

Having a policy filed away in a staff handbook is not enough. Nelson emphasises: “Most times organisations have these policies as documents that nobody ever reads. Have these conversations. Run training. Ensure that people know what is in the policy and know they are free to speak up.” Policies that are never communicated are policies that do not exist in practice.

3. Protect confidentiality

An HR officer who receives a harassment report and immediately shares it with colleagues in finance, or gossips about it across the organisation, is not just unprofessional they are actively endangering the victim. Confidentiality in HR is non-negotiable.

4. Be courageous and principled

As one audience member noted during the show: “It is important for the HR function to be courageous and principled. That in itself drives the culture of the organisation.” When HR is brave, the organisation becomes safer. When HR is timid, dangerous people are emboldened.

5. Get management actively involved

HR cannot fight this battle alone. Stella shared the example of a bank CEO who immediately suspended any accused party pending investigation the moment a sexual harassment complaint was raised. The message that sent to the entire organisation was unambiguous: this behaviour will not be tolerated here. That is what management championing looks like.

Building a Workplace Culture That Prevents Sexual Harassment

The most powerful prevention tool is not a policy. It is a culture. Here is what that culture looks like in practice:

• Leaders model the behaviour they want to see and are held to the same standard as everyone else
• Boundaries are discussed openly, not assumed
• Staff are trained regularly not just at onboarding — on what constitutes harassment and how to report it
• Every complaint is taken seriously, investigated fairly, and resolved transparently
• Victims are protected from retaliation and perpetrators face real consequences
• Managers understand that how they treat their teams is a direct signal to clients, customers, and partners about what behaviour is acceptable

At Pause Factory, we believe that this kind of culture does not build itself. It is the product of intentional people management leaders who are trained in emotional intelligence, who understand employee relations, and who have built the skills to hold difficult conversations with courage and compassion.

Frequently Asked Questions About Workplace Sexual Harassment

What is the difference between flirting and sexual harassment?

The line is consent and response. Flirting between consenting adults who both welcome the interaction is different from making unwanted advances. The moment one person expresses in any way that they are uncomfortable, the interaction must stop. Continuing after that is harassment.

Can sexual harassment happen between people of the same gender?

Yes. As confirmed in this episode, same-sex harassment is real and documented. The gender of the parties involved does not determine whether an act constitutes harassment. The unwanted nature of the conduct is what matters.

What if I reported harassment and nothing was done?

Document that you reported it and when. Then escalate either to a higher level within the organisation, or to the relevant government or regulatory body. In Nigeria, this includes the Ministry of Labour and Employment and relevant professional regulatory organisations. If the organisation continues to fail you, plan your exit and report externally with your evidence.

Should I confront the harasser directly?

In cases of subtle or ambiguous harassment (e.g. repeated unwanted compliments), yes make it clear that the behaviour is unwanted. But for more serious physical acts or where there is a significant power imbalance, go directly to HR or a trusted ally first. Your safety comes first.

Is it sexual harassment if we were previously in a relationship?

Yes. A prior relationship does not grant ongoing consent. If the relationship ends and one party continues making unwanted advances, that is harassment. This is one reason the show strongly advises careful consideration before entering workplace relationships the professional consequences of a broken relationship can be severe and lasting.

Final Words: Watch What You Say, What You Do, and How You Show Up

As the conversation closed, Stella offered this summary: “It is a blurry line when it comes to workplace sexual harassment. Watch what you say. Watch what you do. Watch how you act. Watch what you wear. It is a genuinely blurry line in the workplace and you really should be careful.”

And Nelson’s closing thought: “There is gender equality in sexual harassment. Be careful how you manage your allowances in the workplace so that you do not put yourself or anyone else in trouble.”

If you are a leader, an HR professional, or a business owner who wants to build an organisation where people feel genuinely safe, respected and valued Pause Factory can help. From emotional intelligence training to HR policy development to people management coaching, we work with organisations across Nigeria and beyond to build workplaces that work for everyone.

Sexual harassment is not a gender issue. It is a people management issue. And it starts — and ends — with culture.