During our last EQ Café, (a free quarterly 2-hour program
where we practice Emotional Intelligence) we applied Emotional Intelligence to
anxiety. Anxiety is growing all around the world, and if it is an Emotion, then
we can use Emotional Intelligence to manage it.
How would you define anxiety in your own words? from a global standpoint, we have several people define anxiety in different ways, some of the definitions we received from people include:
- When I’m afraid that my future won’t turn out in the way I want it to
- When I don’t know what’s going to happen and I can’t control the situation.
- Anxiety is feeling so uncomfortable in your own skin you just want to rip it off.
- Thinking too many contradictory thoughts to know what to do or say.
- When everything is overstimulating and you can’t control anything.
Look at the definitions above, take a pause from reading and
define anxiety in your own way; what is anxiety to you?
One of the common themes in the several definitions I have come across, is the fact that every time we speak of anxiety, it is usually about something in the future that we have an idea of but we are not confident of or we do not have surety about; for example, about what the boss will say, about the result, about the delivery process of the baby, about flying, etc., if you look at the examples, you will notice that there is an idea about the outcome, but there is no confidence that it will come out as expected. for example, I have an idea that I would land safely when I fly, but I don’t have confidence about it.
One of the insights that were revealed at the EQ Café is the fact that Anxiety is an emotion that associates itself with several other unpleasant emotions, For Example, When you are anxious, you are also possibly scared, nervous, sad, miserable, dejected, fear (of the unknown), annoyed, etc. this is totally toxic to the body.
Research reveals that
- Trust, empathy, and creativity have an inverse relationship with anxiety.
- Frequent anxiety makes our threat detection system more sensitive.
- Anxiety causes us to fall back into our old patterns.
- Anxious people identify changes in facial expressions more quickly, but less accurately.
- Anxiety can be physically painful.
How To Manage Anxiety with Emotional Intelligence
1.Reduce Anxiety Intensity With Questions:
One of the ways to use Emotional Intelligence to manage your anxiety is to ask yourself certain questions at the moment you are feeling anxious; what am I anxious about and what is the truth about it, really what is the worse that will happen, etc. Your ability to concentrate on these questions will begin to give you the strength to manage the feelings because you have been distracted from the issue itself.
2. See Possibilities:
It is the inability to see possibilities that increases the expectation of the unknown, what are you trying to achieve? what are the odds against you and what are the possibilities you see? The other side of fear is courage and boldness, it’s very simple logic, if you keep seeing the unknown and impossibilities, you will sustain fear, if you reverse it and see possibilities, then you will receive boldness and courage. It doesn’t matter if the unknown is not real, it doesn’t matter if the unknown is not logically feasible, your brain usually doesn’t know, once you are able to plow into possibilities, your brain will adjust to the new picture (thought), which will inform your emotion and anxiety will be reduced.
3. Recognize your pattern:
Why do you fall into anxiety? when do you fall into anxiety? what usually happens just before you begin to feel anxious? One of the best ways to manage anxiety is to understand your pattern; …if dash happens, I feel dash when you are able to recognize these patterns then you will be able to navigate when a pattern is just beginning to form.
4. Increase Your Emotional Quotient(EQ):
How would you describe your Emotional Quotient,
if you are able to find a simple clarity about your ability to “Know Yourself,
Choose Yourself and Give Yourself” then
you will understand how they lead to
anxiety and how to manage it; you can take a free Emotional Intelligence
Assessment today to unlock your EQ,
Click the button above and follow through the instructions and take the assessment, you will receive a report in your mail.
Make this free EQ Assessment Now.
Authored by Enahoro Okhae MD/CEO of Pause Factory