Author: Enahoro Okhae (President; pausefactory.org)
While the story is yet to be confirmed by the Police, I could not believe my eyes yesterday when I saw pictures on the Internet of a seven-year old boy lunched and burnt alive in Lagos Nigeria. I kept wondering, for what reason would a human being deserve this gruesome act that has repeated itself in my little lifetime, not to talk of a seven years old boy, I kept wondering about my son who is 6 going on 7 and I could not imagine such action on him.
Then I remembered the global Emotional Intelligence assessment released in April this year, titled “State of the Heart’ Global Trend in Emotional Intelligence by Six Seconds. The result revealed the fact that Global Empathy has reduced by 2.4 percent between 2014 and 2015.
In that research, Intrinsic Motivation reduced by 2.9 percent whilst the ability to Navigating Emotions reduced by 3.3 percent.
Empathy is simply “Putting yourself in other people’s shoes”. It regulates your internal people based decision-making compass. What happened to the young 7 years old was the result of Low Empathy or No Empathy.
Those who were beating the child could not put themselves in the child’s shoe. Those who were watching could also not put themselves in the child’s shoe. You wonder do they have children at home, and could they leave their child to be treated that way. This is a societal menace. My question to you is simple, do you have Empathy? Is your Empathy reducing according to the world’s empathy status?
Empathy is an Emotional Intelligence Competence, and we can all use it to make the world a better place.
To use Empathy, take the following steps in any situation.
- PAUSE to put yourself in the other person’s shoes whenever you have to choose between responding and reacting no matter the situation, if you cannot PAUSE to ask yourself key questions, you would most likely use “auto run” for the situation. As you can see, the auto run of the Nigerian society when anyone steals in public is lynching; burning to death. If only they can PAUSE to think and ask critical questions; why would a child steal in public? Who sent the child? Is this not a situation of lack of parenting? Can we see his parents? I can go on and on and on, the questions to ask are numerous.
- Look for OPTIONS. Those who are Emotionally Intelligent know that several options are available to them in the face of any situation. The weakness of man and society has taught us to reduce all options to one; and I can tell you that such options are usually the weakest one, because it is the options that do not require any thinking. Such is the situation in this case; “If someone steals in public, then, kill him”. Are there other options available to the beaters of this young boy in such situation? Of course there are. Killing it is their weakness of all the options, it requires no thinking. Lack of Empathy and lack of Emotional Intelligence would make you blind to other options.
- Choose the HEALTHY OPTION. In all the available options in any situation, there would be healthy and unhealthy options. Allow yourself think Constructively and not Destructively. Destructive thought would give you unhealthy options while Constructive though would give you Healthy options.
Mitchell Obama said recently “If they go low, we go high”. If the world is losing Empathy, YOU cannot afford to join such decadence. You can make your world a better place by increasing your Empathetic Nature. This would have saved the precious life of the young boy in Lagos yesterday.
Emotional Intelligence is the right way of Life. Live with it.